I will see if if I believe it

We are all used to the expression - I will believe it if I see it. Recently I have also been hearing a modified version - I will see it if I believe it.

Stated another way, it is - you see things not as they are, but as you are.

Brought back memories from a psychology course I took as an undergraduate (With Professor Ram Adhar Singh). He cited an example of a professor, whose car had the words "Silver Streak" painted on the side. Every time, this professor stepped out of the office to drive out for lunch, he had to do a double take, as the words would appear "Silver STEAK" to him.

Has it happened to you during an argument with a friend - that both of you have read the same book, yet drawn totally opposite conclusions about lessons from the book? You see what you believe.

In the 70's, there was a Psychology study done at Stanford University, where a few psychology graduate students got themselves admitted to an insane asylum under a made-up condition (Existential Anxiety). Once they were in, they acted perfectly normal - but they were not released. The doctors kept on finding new things that were wrong about them. One of the things they did was to document all their experiences. The doctors termed this as a condition - "Excessive Writing." The other inmates actually diagnosed this condition much better, by asking these students - "are you writing about your experiences here."

So, if someone feels slighted by what you say, think about it. Sometimes they may be looking to feel slighted, and will pick the one statement out of 100 that in their mind they can interpret to mean that you have slighted them. The big issue is not that they did it. It is that they did it subconsciously, and truly believe it.